Discussing Kate’s pre-MBH dating life:
J: “Whatever happened to that guy you broke up with because he couldn’t dance?”
D: “And the one you broke up with because he called too much?”
A: “And the one who you lost interest in because he didn’t like Zoolander?” (ed. note: that was the same one who called too often)
Bartender, to Kate: “I have heard a lot of stories, but you girls are ridiculous.”

While trying on wedding dresses:
Shopgirl: “These all look amazing on you!”
K: “That’s what eating only oranges for a week will do.” (ed. note: that’s because I was sick and didn’t want to eat anything else BUT oranges)
Girl: “Can I try on that one after she’s done?” (ed. note: this happened with EVERY dress I tried on)
Shopgirl to K: “Maybe we should pay you to just stand in the store and try dresses on. This is crazy!!”

Returning from a two-day trip with a new weekender bag, two new pairs of shoes and a garment bag containing a 50% off Burberry coat:
MBH: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa….”
K: (innocently) “They were great deals.”
MBH: (narrows eyes) “How good of deals?”
K: “Half off! A BURBERRY COAT.” (reaches into bag, produces bottle of spices called “Pirate’s Bite”) “And I got you a present, too!”

MBH: “Well, you have been saying you wanted a new coat for a while…